i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
