Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize