I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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