I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
