Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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