so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
