I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
