guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
