it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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