im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
