goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
the raccoons are back...
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