woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
