God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
