Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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