You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
