there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
