Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
