seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
