Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize