Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
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my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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