you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
