he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
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I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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