Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
