Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
