he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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