I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
