How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
