like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
