Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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