guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
