Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
