covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
