I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
