we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i need some magic done to my vagina
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
