Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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