The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
In America we eat man semen.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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