I love black thongs
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
