Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
