I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The best revenge is premature balding
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
