Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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