I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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