you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize