my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it was like eating out sand paper
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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