If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
