just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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