I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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