The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you didnt know i had herpes?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
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