Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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