he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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