So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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