Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
