so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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