On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
