never play flip cup with pint glasses
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Farmville is her only friend.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
