My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
