Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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