Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
