Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
