If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
