thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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