dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
