there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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