Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
