but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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