Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize