Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize