sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
