with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
