bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
