am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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