I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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